Well HM is almost embarassed about today. Began by photocopying and sending a copy of letter to the debt collection agency that phoned yesterday but then, through some of Hackneyman's old music business connections .. well, went to Surrey for a um.. Polo competition and charidy dinner. Naturally HM didn't get any dinner - not @ £250 a head, no chance. But some cheeky mates managed to slip us some rather nice salmon and cous cous.

Today's Friday and begins with the postman bringing the mail.
The first letter, amazingly, is another form from the Housing Benefit. announcing that any benefit will END! from 15th July 2001.
End? It hasn't even started yet, they surely are taking the piss. After examining the small print it appears that, when claiming Housing Benefit, the claim has to be reviewed every six months - of course this confirms that it has already taken them nearly six months to sort out this claim from HM. The small print does however make interesting further reading in the form of a section where they state:-

Our Promise To You - We Will: Write to you within 7 days of recieving your form if we need more information Pay your benefit within 14 days of getting all the information we need Write to you to tell you how your benefit has been worked out If you ask us to, we will explain our decisions within 14 days Send you a claim form to renew your benefit benefit 8 weeks before your claim runs out (the only one of these items they have nearly got remotely right, as far as HM's claim is concerned)

Interesting stuff, we shall see how well they can keep to these promises but don't hold your breath.

Coping with extreme financial fallout and debt is also one of HM's current personal priorities and the second letter is from a debt collection agency contracted by a credit card company to whom HM has not been able to make recent payments.
This letter is marked urgent, regrets to note the absence of a reply to their previous letter and rather accurately states, that debtors usually fall into two categories, those that CAN'T PAY and those who WON'T PAY ( their capital letters). HM has 48 hours to reply or they threaten to send round a 'field agent' "who will call at your home personally requesting payment"!
This is not good. But important to remember that HM has replied by letter and somone else from the same company had telephoned to say that that letter had been recieved.
The first rule of debt, that it must be admitted in an unreliable mental state HM hasn't always adhered to, is always maintain contact with your debtors. So HM makes the call and eventually gets through to a rather polite but agressive lady and explains that he did reply to their previous letter. 'Well we don't know anything about a letter' she barks 'What we want to know is ..How and when you are going to pay?'

The truthful and honest answer to this last question is that HM does not know. 'In that case I will resend my letter by registered mail' is the reply.

'We don't want your letter' she says. But HM insists and that is where the lady, though dissatisfied, has to end the conversation. Hackneyman notes that he should arrange a meeting with his old accountant.

[5/31/2001 - ENTRY]

Today is a busy day; so much so that HM invests £4.00 on a oneday travel card.

First point of call is HM's regular weekly hour with his own 'Dr. Melfi' @ 10.00am and then hot-foot it home to 'the property' for an appointment with the rent assessor, sent from a private company contracted by the council Housing Benefit office to work out how much benefit should be paid. They have informed HM by letter that their representative can be expected between 11.30 and 12.30am - Half an hour should be a reasonable amount of time to get back after the doctor but as usual, the buses are a little slow and it is not until 11.33 that HM enters the front door, only to find one of the housemates holding a letter left by the rent assessor, who has been and gone!
The letter states that, as HM was not at home, they were unable to count the rooms, describe the property and therefore assess the rent - 'Why not?'
Immediately call their office and the first question HM asks the person on the other end of the phone is 'What time is it, please?'
'Um..twenty five minutes to twelve, precisely'
HM suggests that therefore perhaps this is a little harsh and that his waits, queuing outside the benefit office, are usually a little more than 3 minutes - like three bloody hours! AND the letter says that there was no one at home when there was.
The office agrees to contact their agent and get them to come back and do the assessment, which within fifteen minutes, thankfully, they do.
A lady with a clipboard inspects the property and agrees that it is very nice but unfortunately can't divulge what her assessment of the rent might be. Though she does say that there is the option to appeal if it doesn't appear to be accurate.

On TV in the UK at the moment, as well as Survivor there is the second series of Big Brother. This is accompanied by the additional interest of constant coverage on a cable channel from cameras inside the house. This means that at any one time you might catch your favourite Big Bro' occupant.. doing the washing up, say - fascinating!
Suddenly, half an hour after the rent assessor has left, our entire household is staring at the TV screen watching this, as someone strums a guitar while others wander around aimlessly "Blimey.. their lives are more interesting than ours" chirps up a Hackneyhousemate. Indeed, we should get out more.....
Which HM does; popping off to spend the afternoon at his training providers 'job search' in Moorgate, which he is obliged to do one day a week for his £10.00 extra a week 'training allowance'. This is also the place where Hackneyman is honing his Hackneybird, secretarial skills and gets in some needed typing practice - current speed 30wpm and rising.

[5/30/2001 - ENTRY]
Today HM has a long awaited audience @ the Hackney Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB). This is another, overworked under funded organisation whose very existence is threatened by withdrawal of funding from the local authority. They are so inundated with people requiring help and advice that they usually have to be closed to personal callers but once every few weeks open their doors and are able to let people come in and try and secure an appointment for a few weeks time. HM had done this and today is the first appointment for some advice on DEBT (another primary Hackneyman.com theme) and housing, as inability to pay rent due to lack of housing benefit means the landlord is getting restless and may have no alternative but to evict.
The CAB chap quietly takes down particulars. There is not much chance of HM getting a council property in the too near future as there is a rating system, it might for instance help, if Hackneyman was pregnant but as things stand this looks like a biological impossibility. Two alternative places for housing help are presented - the local housing neighbourhood office on Well Street and the office @ Clarence House on Mare Street. As we move on to the debt question it is explained that this aspect of Citizens Advice is franchised. A call is made on my behalf to see someone but the voice on the other end of the phone can be heard to say that they can't take on any more clients at the moment. He promises that he will call and leave a message at the house (if it is a house - see previous posts) letting HM know when another appointment can be arranged.

Next stop then, is the local neighbourhood housing office on Well Street. Another numbered ticket for the queue, this time Hackneyman is No.1 except the display says '88' and it has to go round again but all to no avail, as when the number is called it is explained that the information given was wrong and all housing requests are now handled @ Clarence House.

[5/29/2001 - ENTRY]
Up bright and early @ 5.30am.
[One of HM's primary current activities is trying to secure Housing Benefit from Hackney council - This has dated from November 2000 with the official claim being made in January 2001]
The benefit office is open to public callers three mornings a week - Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, for just three hours 9.00am until Midday. On one previous occasion Hackneyman witnessed 176 people already queuing @ 8.30am, so you have to get there EARLY! to stand the chance of getting seen.

This morning arrive @ 6.30 and there are about fifty people in the queue. The reason for being here is that HM received a letter on Friday asking how many rooms are in the house where HM lives and what kind of accommodation is it? - A warning is attached to the letter stating that if the information isn't supplied within two weeks then the claim could be jeopardised. Needless to say that countless forms have already been filled supplying all this information PLUS, the council have already confirmed that they will be sending round a rent assessment officer this coming Thursday who can, presumably, count and recognise for themselves, whether a property is actually a house or maisonette.

The previous occasion that HM tackled this queue we took along a book of short stories by young Birmingham writers called Hard Shoulder; a very engrossing read but with by no means the girth to pass time sitting on the pavement outside Keltan House. No, this task requires something of more stature, so 'Anna Karenin' was dutifully packed into the rucksack alongside an apple and bottle of water. Luckily today is one of those crisp sunny London mornings on which Hackney thrives and therefore been conducive to others joining our bright and early start; there are already about fifty people assembled. We join the end of the line behind a couple of Eastern European fish wives, stake out our spot, lift out the Tolstoy and sit as comfortably as possible with our back to the building. 'Anna Karenin' is every bit the classic novel as it slowly unravels and draws you into it's late 19th Century world. You can almost hear the Russian voices.. um, those ARE Russian voices - a friend of the fish wives has joined the line behind us and is conducting a high velocity conversation over my head. This queue is such a waste of human time - surely this kind of social exchange belongs in the launderette? HM offers to let the new arrival at least stand next to her friends as we guess they are considering their response to President Bush's Star Wars project.

The first two hours of queuing can be quality contemplation time but the final half an hour requires reasonable faculties of self interest to maintain the benefits of getting their early. Though, when they open @ 9.00am the office will have door security staff, they state that they take no responsibility for the queue outside the building. This means that the minutes before opening can be lively to say the least. People that have been there for a minimum of two hours have formed some kind of bond even if it is not spoken and are familiar with the visage of those in their immediate vicinity. Suddenly a stranger will appear looking innocent and facing forward - the disgruntled murmurs start, whispers of 'queuejumper', then natural selection throws up a gladiator to confront the culprits. Each time HM has witnessed a different person become possessed by the patron saint of Queuepolice, a frightening spectre that usually dispatch their target humbly to the end of the line only to be confronted by those that just don't care and then in typically Hackney fashion, it all kicks off.
SOLUTION Hackney Council - give one of your (ok, more burly) employees an hours overtime to Maitre D the crowd from 8.00am, hand out numbered tickets - oh, and complementary cornflakes would be appreciated as well.

Hurrah! We are in and handed our ticket, today we are number No.49 so our guestimate of fifty was only one out. Now at this point you can wait the further hour (that's how long HM has estimated it is currently taking the staff to process each fifty claimants) until No.49 flicks up in neon red OR there is another queue for specifically dropping off documents and as we were dropping off 'information', felt justified in joining the smaller line and indeed it was only 20 minutes before we were called.

NOW, elsewhere in Hackneyman tones, we are always making the point that most of the actual staff we are encountering in these places are, very nice and helpful indeed - we have very few complaints on that score. Our fellow in the cubical today was no different and extremely convivial. We hand him the letter and politely explain that we will confirm anything that he needs to know but the information being requested has been provided MANY times. He appears to be a little nervous as he checks his computer screen. Yes indeed, they do know how many rooms there are in the property but need to specify whether it is house or maisonette. Both, the council official and you are aware that everything dealt with in this fashion should be given a receipt and confirmation of date. So our first achievement of the day (apart from absorbing a good chunk of Tolstoy) is that we can leave with a signed/stamped confirmation that the property that we live in is.. a house. How overjoyed the housemates will be when we can confirm this in writing and will certainly confound the one that has delusions that he resides in trailer park in Minnesota.

Go to Tesco to purchase bargain sausages for tonight's tea - Hackneyman will be cooking Toad In The Hole! with mash potato.
Spend some more time programming Hackneyman.com, this time using Microsoft FrontPage with much more success.

TODAY IS...well - Historic! A quiet Sunday morning, as we set the scene for people to follow the life and adventures of HACKNEYMAN and we start to build the foundations for Hackneyman.com - Who knows where this will lead; all that we do know is that this wil lead... somewhere.