FIRSTLY HM always likes to plug our friends down at the Hackney Gazette, where this week's big story is Hackney's very own 'METRIC martyr'.
It seems that he steadfastly clung to the old imperial measures, claiming that his customers prefered them. It took undercover council officers (eat yer heart out Piers Brosman) to 'snare' the chap, at his shop in Ridley Road market.

In court this week he was found guilty of overcharging for fruit and vegetables (not something we expect of our martyrs in Hackney) and of not displaying his prices in metric measurement. In the end the beak dished out a 12-month suspended and order the man to pay costs of more than £4,500 but the best bit is the man's reaction - Cor blimey guvner "I never thought it would take four grand to take a few pictures of a pound of bananas" he said

Back to the serious stuff: Another letter arrives from CREDIT CARD A, who seem to be avoiding HM's last offer to pay £5.00 per month and are offering a 'last chance' comprising of two options

1. The chance to make an immediate payment of £469.47
   and then a further payment of £117.37 each month for 3 months, after which
   they would review the situation.


2. Make an immediate payment of £234.74 followed by a further payment of £234.74 by the end of May (This is a letter dated 21st June by the way).  Then..wait for it - £1117.37 each month! for a further two months and then review the situation again.

All HM can do is immediately reply, offering once again, the £5.00 per month and include the recent breakdown of weekly expenses.

awaiting post.

Today respond to letter which arrives from CREDIT CARD 'B', who have demand full payment of £5,229.89 TODAY in capital letters and included a form on which to detail my current financial situation, in order presumably, so that the amount I am able to pay can be correctly worked out. Their form appears to be entirely based on the notion that HM might have a 'monthly' budget. This would be wonderful but plainly ridiculous in these circumstances, as a 'daily' budget is more relevent or a weekly one at a push. HM opts for the latter and comes up with a budget as follows:

WEEKLY BUDGET
	£
Mortgage/rent	Paid by housing benefit
Council Tax	Um..?????
Gas	£   5.00
Electricity	£   5.00
Water	£   4.00
Telephone	£   6.00
TV rental/licence	£   2.50
Housekeeping	£ 24.50	{calculated 7 days @ £3.50 per diem
Traveling X's	£   2.00	{A week??? This was a mistake; really meant; 2 quid A DAY!!
Other	£   2.00	HM's jobsearch allowance
TOTAL OUTGOS	£ 51.00	(ignoring transport mistake)
As HM's job seekers allowance is currently £53.05 per week. This leaves a grand total of  £2.10  available for other things.

The conclusion that HM shares with the debt collectors is that for them also, there is £5.00 a month available and sends a postal order with the first £5.00 to display good will.

awaiting post